About

About Me

My name is Remy. I am a twenty-something Texan just now learning about this whole "life" business.

I love books; as object, as artform, as conveyor of stories and culture. I enjoy bookbinding, and drawing, along with many other creative ventures. I like finding joy and new perspective in small things, like flowers, and I am deeply moved by thunderstorms, by the ocean, and by the night sky.

I am an eclectic pagan, who is godowned and deals primarily with deities from Minoan and Greek pantheons, as well as Judaic entities. I hold a rather useless Bachelor's degree in Religious Studies, with a minor in Psychology. I am demisexual, pansexual, genderqueer, polyamorous, and pretty sure that is going to cause a lot of blank stares, so please see the "Names and Terms" page if you are curious for what those are.

I struggle with anxiety, panic, and depression. My father was an emotionally abusive binge alcoholic, and I am a suicide attempt survivor. I also struggle with self-destructive tendencies, self-worth, self-esteem, and big trust issues. Oh, and I am a major control freak.

I bring all of this up, because they are relevant to content on this blog.

About the Blog

This is a blog of dreams.

My biggest dream is moving to be with my significant other, Z, who currently resides on the East Coast; you will hear me talk about him quite a bit.

I have many other dreams. Some of them are concrete: Finding a stable job; getting my Masters of Library Sciences; traveling to Crete; telling people my story.

Some of them can be said in concrete terms, but cannot really be approached as solidly as the others. Healing in body, mind, spirit, and emotion. Feeling safe and secure. Learning how to be happy and to not let fear paralyze me. Seeing myself more accurately, and shedding the masks. Changing how I see the world.

And that is what the core of this blog is about: my journey towards healing; towards my dreams, which began with the biggest decision I have ever made - giving myself away. Funny how it has taken losing myself, to gain myself.

About the Title

"With angels, not demons," is a line from the song "Down Towards the Healing," by Lovedrug. You will notice that I refer to their work a lot. Their music has played an integral part in my journey towards healing since I first heard them in March 2011. The aforementioned song, in particular, has been a grounding point for me; every time I start to lose my way, listening to it and letting the words sink into my heart helps bring me back to focus. They are an indie band from Ohio, and I really cannot recommend them enough.